SHOW don't TELL

Today Room 8 were learning to use SHOW not TELL in our writing. This means instead of telling the reader what is happening, we make a picture in their mind by describing what we can see, hear, feel, taste, touch, our actions and what we might say or think. 

Room 8 were given the sentence I hurt my leg to improve. 

Here are some awesome examples...

I saw a stream of red blood crawling down my knee. I shouted "Help!" as the gooey blood was tickling me in red pain. It felt like a swarm of bees stinging me in painful attacks.

By LJ and David

"Why, why, WHY did I do this to myself?" I thought. I glanced down quickly and what I saw was...blood that flowed down my leg like a raindrop. I stood up and felt the stinging pain while I walked to the office. I walked so painfully that it felt like the office as a mile away.

By Samantha and Ellen

My knee was aching with bursts of pain. I saw blood dripping down like the rain. I zoomed inside to get my first aid kit to clean my knee. At that moment, I yelped for my lovely mum.

By Nevaeh and Tarita

I thought it was a little graze...but as soon as I looked down, there was blood trickling down my leg like a waterfall. I was running around crazy like a lunatic. It felt like I had fallen into a ravine full of deadly hounds. The pain felt like I had just got stabbed in the knee by a sword. 

By Hayden and Augustina 

You were all so focused and worked so hard today.

Keep it up my clever Room 8 writers :)