Today Room 8
were learning to use SHOW not TELL in our writing. This means instead
of telling the reader what is happening, we make a picture in their mind
by describing what we can see, hear, feel, taste, touch, our
actions and what we might say or think.
Room 8 were given the sentence I hurt my leg to improve.
Here are some awesome examples...
I saw a stream of red blood crawling down my knee. I shouted "Help!" as the gooey blood was tickling me in red pain. It felt like a swarm of bees stinging me in painful attacks.
By LJ and David
"Why, why, WHY did I do this to myself?" I thought. I glanced down quickly and what I saw was...blood that flowed down my leg like a raindrop. I stood up and felt the stinging pain while I walked to the office. I walked so painfully that it felt like the office as a mile away.
By Samantha and Ellen
My knee was aching with bursts of pain. I saw blood dripping down like the rain. I zoomed inside to get my first aid kit to clean my knee. At that moment, I yelped for my lovely mum.
By Nevaeh and Tarita
I thought it was a little graze...but as soon as I looked down, there was blood trickling down my leg like a waterfall. I was running around crazy like a lunatic. It felt like I had fallen into a ravine full of deadly hounds. The pain felt like I had just got stabbed in the knee by a sword.
By Hayden and Augustina
You were all so focused and worked so hard today.
Keep it up my clever Room 8 writers :)